Written by Arrive in Bloom (이름꽃), a Korean florist. Last reviewed 11 September 2026.
The short version. A Korean funeral runs for three days at a funeral hall, usually inside a hospital. You visit once, for about thirty minutes, most often on the second evening. Wear black. Bring condolence money in a white envelope — ₩30,000–₩100,000 depending on how close you were — rather than flowers in your hands. Bow to the photograph of the person who died, bow to the family, say one short sentence, eat what you are offered, and leave quietly. If you cannot go in person, what people send is a standing wreath that is displayed at the entrance with your name on it.
What a Korean funeral actually looks like
If your only reference is a Western funeral, almost none of the shape will match. There is no church service that everyone attends at a fixed hour, and there is usually no burial you are invited to.
Instead, the family sets up a 빈소 (binso) — a mourning room — in a 장례식장 (jangnyesikjang), a funeral hall. Most large Korean hospitals have one in the basement or in a separate building, which is why the address you are given often looks like a hospital address. The room stays open for three days, day and night, and the immediate family stays there the whole time, sleeping in an adjoining room.
At the front of the room stands a portrait of the person who died, framed with a black ribbon, surrounded by white chrysanthemums. Along the corridor outside stand the wreaths sent by companies, colleagues and friends, each with a ribbon carrying the sender's name in large letters. Guests arrive in a steady trickle from morning until late at night; each one pays respects, sits down to eat, and leaves. On the morning of the third day the coffin departs — the 발인 (balin) — and only close family and the closest friends go along to the crematorium.
So "attending a Korean funeral" means choosing one slot in those three days and going for half an hour. Nobody expects more than that.
When to go
- Day 2, in the evening is the usual choice, and the busiest. If you are a colleague or a friend, this is the safe answer.
- Day 1 is early — the family may still be receiving the body and setting up. Go on day 1 only if you are very close to them.
- Day 3 is the departure. Unless you have been asked to come to the 발인, do not arrive that morning.
- Late at night is entirely normal in Korea. Arriving at 9 or 10 PM is not rude.
If you were told about the death through a group message or a company notice, that message almost always contains the hall name, the room number, and the 발인 time. That is the information a Korean reads first.
What to wear
| Who | Expected | Acceptable |
|---|---|---|
| Men | Black suit, white shirt, black tie, black socks and shoes | Charcoal or navy suit with a dark tie. A plain dark jacket if you came straight from work |
| Women | Black dress, blouse and skirt, or trouser suit; dark stockings; low black shoes | Any dark, plain outfit with sleeves. Minimal jewellery, muted make-up, no bright nails |
| Avoid | Bright colours, patterns and logos, red anything, shorts, sandals, strong cologne, a hat indoors. White on its own reads as mourning dress for the family, so do not turn up head-to-toe in white either | |
Coming straight from the airport or from work in ordinary clothes is forgiven — showing up matters more than the suit. But if you have two hours and a department store nearby, Koreans will quietly notice that you changed.
Condolence money — 부의금 (buuigeum)
In Korea, condolence money is the norm, and it is not considered crude. Funerals are expensive and the envelopes are how a community pays for one. The family keeps a ledger of who gave what, and returns the same courtesy when a death happens in your family. That is why you write your name on the envelope.
How much
| Your relationship | Usual amount |
|---|---|
| Acquaintance, a colleague you know slightly | ₩30,000 |
| Colleague you work with, a friend | ₩50,000 |
| Close friend, a team you are senior in, a business partner | ₩100,000 |
| Relative, a lifelong friend | ₩100,000 and upward |
- Odd-numbered amounts — 3, 5, 7 — are traditional; ₩100,000 is the usual exception because ten reads as a whole number.
- Never ₩40,000. The Korean word for four sounds like the word for death.
- If you are unsure, ₩50,000 is never wrong for a colleague.
- Cash only, in a white envelope. Funeral halls sell the envelopes at the entrance, so you do not need to prepare one in advance.
How to write the envelope
On the front, vertically, you write 賻儀 (부의, "condolence offering") or 謹弔 (근조, "respectful mourning"). Printed envelopes at the hall usually have this already. On the back, lower left, write your name — and above or beside it your company or department if this is a work relationship, because the family will not recognise a foreign name on its own.
Writing your name in English is fine. Writing your company name in English is also fine. What matters is that the family can tell who came.
What happens inside, step by step
- Sign the bookA guest book (방명록) sits at the entrance. Write your name — printed English is fine.
- Hand over the envelopeThere is a box beside the book. Place the envelope in it yourself; do not hand money to the family.
- Take off your shoes and enter the mourning roomBow slightly to the family as you come in. They are standing to the right of the portrait, in black, the chief mourner often wearing an armband.
- Offer incense or a flowerIf there is an incense burner: take one stick, light it from the candle, and put the flame out by fanning it with your hand or shaking it — never by blowing on it. Place it upright in the burner. If there is a basket of white chrysanthemums instead: take one and lay it on the table with the flower head facing the portrait.
- Bow to the person who diedStep back, then make two deep bows (kneeling, forehead to the back of your hands), followed by a short standing half-bow. If you are Christian, or simply not comfortable kneeling, stand with your head bowed for a silent moment instead. Both are accepted without comment.
- Bow to the familyTurn to the family and exchange one bow with them. This is the moment to say your one sentence. Keep it short; they have been doing this for two days.
- Eat what is offeredYou will be led to a table and given a meal — usually 육개장, a spicy beef soup, with rice and side dishes. Eating is part of the ritual, not hospitality you should refuse. Twenty minutes is enough. Alcohol is served; drink lightly or not at all.
- Leave without a farewell sceneNod to the family on your way out. Do not make them walk you to the door.
What to say
Korean condolence language is deliberately formulaic — you are not expected to be original, and the family is not expected to answer. One sentence, then silence, is correct.
"I respectfully pray for the peace of the departed." The standard phrase, said to anyone, and the one written on wreath ribbons.
"How great your grief must be." Said directly to the bereaved family, usually with a bow and nothing else.
"I have no words to offer." Used when the death was sudden or a young person died.
In English, "I am sorry for your loss" is perfectly understood and nobody will think less of you for using it. What matters is the bow and the brevity.
Do not say
- "How did it happen?" — never at the hall.
- "안녕하세요" — the ordinary cheerful greeting is out of place here. Bow instead.
- Anything that begins "At least…". Korean condolence does not console by comparison.
- "Call me if you need anything" is a Western reflex; it puts the work on the grieving. Koreans send the envelope and the wreath instead — the help arrives without being asked for.
If you cannot be there
This is the ordinary case for anyone living outside Korea, and there is a well-established way to handle it. You send a standing wreath — 근조화환 (geunjo-hwahwan) — to the funeral hall.
A Korean condolence wreath is not a bouquet. It is a tall tiered stand of white chrysanthemums, delivered to the hall and placed in the corridor outside the mourning room, and across it runs a ribbon with two lines: the condolence phrase, and your name as the sender. Everyone who walks past reads it, including every relative and colleague who comes. That public visibility is the point — it is how absence is excused and respect is recorded.
- What the ribbon says. The left ribbon carries 삼가 고인의 명복을 빕니다. The right carries the sender: a personal name, or a company with a title — for example ABC 코리아 대표 John Smith. Tell us how you want to be read and we write it by hand.
- Where it goes. Give the hall name and room number if you have them. The name of the person who died is usually enough for a Korean florist to find the rest.
- How fast. An urgent wreath reaches a funeral hall anywhere in Korea in about three hours. If the service is tomorrow morning in Korea, ordering tonight from abroad is comfortably in time.
- If the hall does not accept fresh wreaths. Some do not, for space or policy reasons. The accepted substitute is a rice wreath (쌀화환) — the same display, built around sacks of rice that the family then donates or uses.
- Condolence money from abroad. If you are close to the family, a bank transfer with a short message is normal and is not considered cold.
A standard three-tier wreath costs ₩59,000 (about $54) delivered anywhere in Korea; larger tiers run to ₩199,000. Full price list · How sending from abroad works · Order cut-off in your time zone
Religious variations
| Tradition | What changes |
|---|---|
| Christian (Protestant) | No incense and no kneeling bows. You lay a white chrysanthemum, stand with head bowed, and pray silently. Hymns may be sung at set hours. |
| Catholic | A flower is offered and the bow is usually kept. A rosary may be prayed in the evening. |
| Buddhist | Incense and the two full bows, as described above. You may hear chanting. |
| No religion | The default pattern in this guide. Most halls set out both incense and flowers and let each guest choose. |
If you cannot tell which it is, watch the person ahead of you and do the same. That is what Koreans do too.
Mistakes foreigners make most often
- Bringing a bouquet by hand. Cut flowers in your arms have no place to go; the wreath is the form condolence takes here.
- Blowing out the incense. Fan it with your hand.
- Wearing a bright tie or a patterned shirt because it was the darkest thing in the suitcase.
- Refusing the meal to be polite. Refusing is the impolite version.
- Staying two hours and talking business at the table.
- Sending an e-card or an email instead of a wreath. Nothing about it is visible at the hall, and at a Korean funeral visibility is the message.
- Handing cash directly to the chief mourner. Use the box.
Quick reference
| Question | Answer |
|---|---|
| When do I go? | Day 2, evening. Thirty minutes is a full visit. |
| What do I wear? | Black. Socks without holes. |
| What do I bring? | ₩30,000–₩100,000 cash in a white envelope, your name on the back. |
| Flowers? | Not in your hands. A standing wreath sent to the hall, from ₩59,000 (about $54). |
| What do I say? | 삼가 고인의 명복을 빕니다, or "I am sorry for your loss." Once. |
| Do I stay for the burial? | No, unless you are family or were explicitly asked. |
Frequently asked questions
- Can I attend a Korean funeral if I am not Korean and did not know the family well?
- Yes. Korean funerals are public in a way Western ones often are not — colleagues, clients and neighbours all come. If you knew the person or you know their child or their colleague, your visit is expected rather than intrusive.
- How much condolence money should I give?
- ₩30,000 for an acquaintance, ₩50,000 for a colleague or friend, ₩100,000 for someone close or for a business relationship. Avoid ₩40,000 — four is the number associated with death.
- Do I have to kneel and bow?
- No. If you are Christian or physically cannot kneel, standing with your head bowed for a moment is fully accepted, and Korean Christians do exactly that.
- What flowers are used at Korean funerals?
- White chrysanthemums, almost exclusively. They fill the altar around the portrait, they are what you lay if flowers are offered instead of incense, and they are what a condolence wreath is built from.
- I live abroad and cannot travel. What should I send?
- A standing condolence wreath (근조화환) delivered to the funeral hall, with your name on the ribbon. It is displayed publicly at the entrance, which is how absence is understood and recorded. A three-tier wreath is about $54 including delivery anywhere in Korea, and urgent orders arrive in roughly three hours.
- What should the ribbon on the wreath say?
- The customary phrase 삼가 고인의 명복을 빕니다 on one side, and your name on the other — with your company and title if this is a work relationship. Foreign names are written as you give them.
- How long does a Korean funeral last?
- Three days. The mourning room is open around the clock, and the coffin departs on the morning of the third day.
- Is it rude to leave after thirty minutes?
- No — it is normal. Pay respects, eat briefly, and let the next guests take your place at the table.
If you cannot be there, send the wreath
Ordered from abroad, made in Korea that morning, delivered to the funeral hall — and we send you a photo of it standing there, with the ribbon readable.
Send a condolence wreath How it works from abroad